We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
