just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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