It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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