Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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