um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Enjoy the penises
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
