Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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