I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
