White coat. Heels.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
