So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
