it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
