Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
