I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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