It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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