discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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