McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
