i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
