So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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