I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
