I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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