at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
