So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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