I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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