Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
