your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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