My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
