i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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