i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize
