I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
