Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
