Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize