If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
