Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
