i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
