whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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