I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
