Just mADE A PArabola og urine
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
