You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
