he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
