it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
