Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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