If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
