On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
