real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
