did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I love you. Go after that dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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