this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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