I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
