i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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