Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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