This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
