i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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