she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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