My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize