Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
