I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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