I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
