She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
