how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
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Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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