I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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