apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
