am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
