Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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