I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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