Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i think i just lost a toe
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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